Self-identification

When i was little and i left a cinema the question was not which scene was our favourite, what we had learnt, or the intentions of different characters, or their reasons for certain actions, how compelling we found the narrative, what we thought of the music or the camera shots; no, the first thing my brother and i would discuss was who our favourite character was.
Why we felt we needed to align ourselves with a particular character i don't know but what i do know was that we generally agreed. Sure, our nature and nurture were very alike but i think it was a sociological reason: we wanted to portray a particular image of ourselves, we liked characteristics of someone and we wanted not only others but ourselves to recognise those characterisitics in us. Leaving Star Wars 1 we both like Jar Jar Binks, most likely because he appealed to our juvenile sense of humour (Do we identify with characters to feel more part of the action, is that why i never used to enjoy Austen, because i could not see myself in these characters so they held no interest for me?). My friend and i discussed this, he said he preferred Obi Wan Kenobi and i professed my love for Jar Jar only to find out his sister's preference for the same character. Being immature i baulked at this realisation, i did not want to be like her but then i was left without a favourite character and a confused idea of my perception of Jar Jar.
I have the same reaction now when someone (cool is no longer really a word i would use any-more, its subjectivity being so limiting) who i would not like my views associated with because of our other disagreements on preference. They cheapen a band i like, a beer i drink, a work of art i enjoy. Why does their allegiance act to the detriment of these things? Why is it that one viewpoint of someone whose taste generally differs from mine (taste is such a good word it suggests no right or wrong just an appetite for different things) can sully something i enjoy?
I think association is the important point here. We define ourselves by our choices. By the things we choose to think, the things we choose to do and the things we choose to own. I see beauty in the lines of T.S Eliot but is that only because others have verified this beauty or his genius; if, when i read Ulysses, it had been written by someone not revered, maybe Roald Dahl, not James Joyce would i have seen the intelligence and the wit, am i only reading the Myth of Sisyphus because it is written by Camus and i want to align myself with him, or see his thoughts, if it had been written by J.K Rowling would i have even bought it in the first place?
I think this all ties into this theme of self-identification, how we want to see ourselves and how we want to be seen. As ridiculous and awful as it is that i don't want to have a similar taste to someone with whose taste i generally disagree, i do so because i don't want to be considered to share their penchant for slapstick humour, their disposition towards lager, or - to reverse it - their dislike of poetry; just as i did not want my enjoyment of the character of Jar Jar to suggest i enjoyed Barbie or petting horses (things that i did not see as worthwhile or enjoyable).
The other thing this all seems to tie in with is the idea of prejudice. As bad as it is, and as much as i try to judge everything on its own merits (i came out here to see some stuff for myself, i mean why leave the telling up to everybody else? Ani DiFranco), where do we start looking? Is a poem written by a friend ever going to get the attention i would give one by Cummings or Neruda and if it does is it because this is a particular joy i revel in in being associated with this person? I had to write a short biography of Larkin the other week and i left out his stash of pornography because i did not want readers of said bio to judge him on that, to think if they liked him they approved of that. We have a finite amount time on the earth to read (why we read what we read as children thus baffles me - to acquire a taste whilst identifying with something? - but a question for another time) so must we not start by being pointed in certain directions? Even those who go off the beaten track when finding something new and good try to point others to that and the cycle perpetuates itself unless we are selfish with our findings.
Can we and should we apply this to people? I bought a book of Chinese poetry to sample it - and i see it as potentially broadening horizons and opening avenues of interest - but i would be considered very strange to do that with people. The cliché that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover is only partly true. We should only judge people on their actions and their thoughts, clearly, but their thought is manifested in the action of how to attire themselves in terms of clothes, hair, tattoos etc. You should only not judge the book by its cover if the creator of the book did not choose the cover.
The issue of body is a strange one anyway. Is my body a part of me or just a carrier for my brain? I act so it remains strong so i am not inhibited by its frailty, it transports me to where i can further my self - what self? Do i only exist in other's views of me, certainly the corpse is no longer the person though it is a symbol of that person and some people very much disagree with the violation of that, i mean varying from the strange practise of necrophilia to dissection for medical purposes. We certainly use our bodies to give off an impression and it is composed of a serious of indicators by which the overall image of self-hood is partly constructed.
But i digress, or i think i do, there must have been a reason why my brain latched onto that idea. So the reason my brother and i chose favourite characters rather than discussing the story was because we wanted to see ourselves in these characters; i like my tastes to be shared only by those who share many of my tastes because we partly define ourselves through real people as well as fictional ones; and sometimes books should be judged by covers, especially if that book is a person - just as long as you are judging it on what it has chosen and not what it was born with.